“Romeo can’t really be blamed for Ophelia’s death.”

Senior English major on a Shakespeare final. (via minininny)

WELL THEY’RE NOT WRONG

——

How about this, though?

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[Editorial Note: This “theory” depends on believing the Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet take place contemporaneously. So, for the sake of argument, let’s all agree that the events of both plays occur in the Spring of 1517 (chosen because of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, and the Reformational threads that run through Hamlet).]

See, in the Second Quarto and First Folio versions of Romeo and Juliet, a[n extremely minor] character appears with Romeo, Mercutio, and Benvolio at the Capulet’s Party (where, if you recall, Romeo meets Juliet for the first time).

Like Hamlet's Horatio, this Horatio is full of well-worded philosophical advice. He tells Romeo “And to sink in it should you burden love, too great oppression for a tender thing.”

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Fig. 1 - Second Quarto Printing

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Fig. 2 - First Folio Printing

[The American Shakespeare Center’s Education Blog discusses the likely “real” reasons for Horatio’s presence]

Let’s imagine that Horatio has travelled down from Wittenberg (about 540 miles) to Verona for his Spring Break. He hears about some guys who like to party (because, let’s be honest, besides getting stabbed, partying is Mercutio’s main thing). So, he ends up crashing the Capulet’s ball with them.

He is then on the sidelines as Romeo and Juliet fall in love, Tybalt kills Mercutio, Romeo kills Tybalt, Romeo gets banished, and both lovers are found dead in Juliet’s tomb.

This tragedy fresh in his mind, he returns to Wittenberg at the end of what has turned out to be a decidedly un-radical Spring Break and discovers that his bestie Prince Hamlet is leaving for Elsinore Castle because he’s just gotten news that his father, the King, is dead.

On the trip up (another ~375 miles), Horatio recounts the tragic romance he just witnessed in Verona. He advises (as he is wont to do) Hamlet not to mix love and revenge.

Hamlet takes Horatio’s advice to heart, breaking up with Ophelia so that he can focus is energy on discovering and punishing his father’s killer:

HAMLET
Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner
transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
force of honesty can translate beauty into his
likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the
time gives it proof. I did love you once.

OPHELIA

Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.

HAMLET

You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot
so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.

Ophelia - burdened by the perceived loss of Hamlet’s love and his murder of her father - goes mad and drowns herself.

You see, if Romeo had waited literally a minute and thirty seconds longer (31 iambic pentametrical lines) - he, Juliet, Ophelia (and possibly the rest of the Hamlet characters) would have made it.

* With thanks to roguebelle.

(via thefeminineending)

Buncha fuckin nerds in this town.

(via moriartini)

The Hamratiophelia Conspiracy Theory ftw

(via zahnie)

(Source: cherries-jubilee)

supsquark:

if you have a great dane but it is a runt then it is a mediocre dane and you are contractually obliged to name it hamlet

tamorapierce:

partymage:

littleprincessaubrey:

lol

That renegade Bill.  If he’da had a motto, it would be, “It’s your language.  Play with it!”

(Source: thenewmetropolitan)

thegeekyblonde:

chocolatechipseapancake:

thegeekyblonde:

vagueblogging on tumblr without naming names more like “i do not bite my thumb at YOU sir but i DO bite my thumb”

Do you quarrel sir?

QUARREL sir NOOOOO sir

yamsy:

raptorific:

Comparing your relationship to Romeo and Juliet to express how in love you are is kind of like using Hamlet to demonstrate how close and well-adjusted your family life is

*laughs tastefully*

annabellioncourt:

SHAKESPEARE WROTE THAT ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE.

HIS THEATER WAS CALLED THE GLOBE.

NOT ONLY WAS THAT LINE PHILOSOPHICAL AND DEEP

BUT IT WAS ALSO A FUCKING PUN

fuckitfireeverything:

fandom-frenzy:

howelljenkinspendragon:

fuckitfireeverything:

howelljenkinspendragon:

fuckitfireeverything:

howelljenkinspendragon:

fuckitfireeverything:

let’s talk about angsty teen hamlet

every time hamlet appears on stage he’s wearing something ridiculous and people just pause for a second and look at him before they address him. and it’s a running gag that Rosencrantz & Guildenstern keep trying to dress like him but they don’t manage it, they’re always one step behind. horatio doesn’t react to what hamlet is wearing until the duel scene.

hamlet in a hoodie and skinny jeans

hamlet making that exasperated teenage son face every time gertrude speaks

hamlet’s every expression screaming “you’re not my real father” 

hamlet delivering soliloquies which are totally tragic and sublime but he’s so goddamn melodramatic that the audience has to stuff their hands in their mouths not to laugh out loud

hamlet spray-painting vague, passive-aggressive slogans on walls and pillars and trying to convince horatio to join him

hamlet reading john green novels and being like OPHELIAAAAAA she’s the girl with the cool name who’s too cool for him and HE CAN’T HANDLE IT WHY IS HIS LIFE SO TERRIBLE

hamlet listening to green day 

hamlet extending all his words into several syllables: “but mo-ommm” “ugh polonius sto-oppp”

hamlet laughing for like ten minutes straight after his “I can tell a hawk from a handsaw” joke because goddamn I’m hilarious

horatio rolling his eyes and sighing really loudly 

hamlet getting horatio, rosencrantz & guildenstern to form a pop punk band with him as the lead singer. they have a rehearsal. there is an audience. it’s ophelia.  the song is about ophelia.  the song also sounds a lot like a green day song.  later they sing pseudo-political lyrics at claudius.  claudius doesn’t know whether to actually be worried or die laughing.

I’m pretty sure you all just want to watch the David Tennant Hamlet.

I’m pretty sure you missed the part where David Tennant is a 40 year old man.

(Source: fuckitfirespookythings)

runs-on-spooky-ramen:

blackrosetheatre:

theatre humor

more like anyone who got through 9th grade English humour

What Is Up With “Thou,” “Thee,” “Thy,” and “Thine”?

cellarspider:

readytobeme:

theyuniversity:

imageimageimageimageimage

I HAVE BEEN FUCKING WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS

Would be right, were it not for the fact that you would not refer to an “esteemed scientist” as “thou” unless thou were attempting to sound like a complete ass.

Thee, thou, thy and thine were during their period of active use actually the informal pronouns. We still had you (usually pronounced “ye” at the time), your and yours, but they were the polite option. It eventually became only used, oddly, in either religious text or if you really wanted to tell a person what you thought of them.

This is part of a language construct known as T-V distinction that we don’t have anymore for pronouns. It’s an interesting concept.

Now go learn thou a thing.

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